Right girls I’m gonna be handing out some social commentary here that may be accepted by some of you, possibly hated by most and that I might feel the wrath of when I’m done. I’m prepared for it.
I want to talk to you about self-perspective. I look at myself now and I can recognise my body for what it is. I’ve got mega-thighs with a thick arse topping and silvery lighting between my legs. I’ve got a monster scar on my right knee from when my car hit a tree and the impact left a grinning gap. It got sewed up and I picked out the stitches. Now it looks a pumpkin. My legs are kinda stubbly from a 3 day ago shave, my nail polish is chipped and I’ve been ‘trimming toenails’ with my fingernails. This does not stop me wearing sandals. I go further up and my tummy protrudes in two places; I have 2 rolled-up tea towels just above my bits. My breasts are simply ridiculous; due to bad eating habits they have ballooned; my waist has stayed super slim though so the two balance well and make those babies look like they could start a fight with you in a club and win. My arms are terrible, another hereditary woe; a bit too much wing on my bingo. My skin is brown after a hot, late holiday and I feel good about my skin. For the first time in a long time I am not ashamed of it. Apart from my inner ankles; The dry skin comes back fastest there and is hardest to get rid of. My hands are ok; I have been told I have piano-playing fingers, and I play the piano. My neck is weird, you know the dew laps you get on chubby little female rabbits? It’s like I’ve got one of them; I got asked by a co-worker if my lymph nodes were alright. I like my face but my skin is too dry and uneven. My nose is pointy and sometimes looks frightening in photos. So does my chin; my chin seems to escape the minute I try to hold it in for the camera. My eyes are big and green but often shrunken behind the very thick glasses I wear. My eyelashes are enormous but I can’t help pulling them out. My eyebrows are giant caterpillars that are heinous to restrain; they are thick enough to hide in. My hair is fabulous; I have let it grow after cutting it all off 4 years ago and it has come back with a vengeance. I stopped dyeing my hair and rarely have it cut. The longest part of it touches the tops of my hips when I sit down. It gets blonde in the summer so it is a bit lighter than usual.
I think that’s enough indulgent self-descriptive I think you’ve got the picture. I am average. There are things that I love and things that I hate about my body but ultimately I accept all of it. If I wanted to slim my thighs I could run everyday; if I wanted to loose dem arms I could lift weights, but I have chosen other things over this as my priority. I am not saying I shirk exercise altogether though I do not do it as often as I should (as was clear at work yesteRday ‘National Fitness Day’ when my face went beetroot). Although there are things that disgruntle me about myself I have put so many other things as precedence before myself I cannot spare the time to do anything over the bare minimum to continue with my body’s upkeep. In light of this, please note that although I have bad body days when I hate myself and vow to do better and feel utter envy of the beauties surrounding me, I like myself enough to go ‘Hey big titties we are looking good!’ on a good day. Call me an arrogant whore but I lean on my titties for confidence and I bounce right back.